He just always seemed very glib to Richard, a quality that he really didn't admire in people at all. That and he didn't really trust easily at all. Jimmy and Angela were probably the only people he did trust completely.
He glances over at Jimmy thoughtfully at his question. "We don't have to."
He said it like it was a ridiculous concept, but he'd thought about it before. Hell, he'd been halfway to doing it before, had gotten out of Atlantic City, but that had been an attempt at escaping, more than anything, and of course he'd come back. Maybe he'd been stupid to.
Privately, he thought that a new town could help with Jimmy's family situation, too. He'd never thought highly of either of his parents, and their influence over Jimmy seemed to be growing by the day. And he thought that Angela could do with the change, as well. As for Richard himself, he wasn't attached to Atlantic City or any other place. He saw it very much in the same terms that he viewed people: nothing had a connection with anything else. Even if Jimmy was proving him wrong there, but even so, those connections were ones that people had to forge themselves, they weren't something inherent in the world.
It's not an out and out protest. The idea appeals to him. He wonders what Angela would think. Shaking his head again, he sprawls out even more, sighing. "I don't think it's that easy to start over. I think shit would just follow me around, y'know?"
He knows deep down that Jimmy isn't going to seriously consider moving away. He'll finish what he's started, and Richard respects that. It's what he'd do himself in that position, finish the battle that they'd marched into. But the offer is genuine, and will remain open.
"I know you could, but I ain't just gonna walk away from my problems."
Leaving Richard to deal with the messes Jimmy had made himself would be cowardly and wrong. He may not have been thinking very clearly lately, but he was clear enough to know that much.
He's not even sure what he means by that. It's a big statement. Maybe he's just referencing their problems at the moment, maybe he means life in general. He doesn't seem inclined to elaborate.
It was a pretty bleak picture as far as Richard was concerned. If he thought about it too much, it made him tempted to take his shotgun back out to those woods.
"Yeah. I know." He means it to be reassuring, but it doesn't end up sounding that way. He gets the feeling that Jimmy feels the same as he does sometimes: that neither of them were really supposed to be there. He returns his gaze to the waves breaking on the shore, trying to think of something that might help, but nothing comes to mind. Any reassurance he tried to give Jimmy now would be a lie, and he felt he'd probably be lying to himself, too.
Jimmy embarrasses himself sometimes with just how much he wishes he'd never come home from the war. At least if he'd've died over there, people would've remembered him for that. Now, he was just the wounded war veteran, and a whole hell of a lot of good that did anybody -- he was pretty sure Richard knew exactly how he felt on that level, at the very least.
"Maybe I'll just sit right here forever. Tell all those other guys to go fuck themselves, 'n just sit on the beach. Sounds pretty good to me right now."
It did sound pretty good, at least in theory. He doesn't say anything for a moment, just considering how far it was actually possible to run away from their problems, and whether it was really wise to, if that was how they wanted to be remembered. Eventually he smiles sadly. "Sounds nice. Until it starts raining."
A little bit, maybe. But sitting on the beach in a torrential downpour didn't sound ideal, either, and he sighed with frustration. "Nothin's ever just easy, is it?"
Richard shakes his head a little. That was the understatement of the year, really. Nothing would ever be easy, especially not for him. Privately, he did think that if Jimmy wanted an easier life, it was right there for him to reach out and take. His family were right there in front of him, unlike the images from magazines that Richard savoured so. But maybe, after everything they'd been through in the war, that simpler life was really lost to both of them forever.
"I dunno about that. Life like this, kinda makes it seem luckier if you end up dead before you can fuck everythin' up worse."
It's not that he wants to be dead. Sometimes he just thinks it should have worked out that way. It would have simplified a lot of things, that was for sure.
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He glances over at Jimmy thoughtfully at his question. "We don't have to."
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He said it like it was a ridiculous concept, but he'd thought about it before. Hell, he'd been halfway to doing it before, had gotten out of Atlantic City, but that had been an attempt at escaping, more than anything, and of course he'd come back. Maybe he'd been stupid to.
"Where the fuck would we go?"
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Privately, he thought that a new town could help with Jimmy's family situation, too. He'd never thought highly of either of his parents, and their influence over Jimmy seemed to be growing by the day. And he thought that Angela could do with the change, as well. As for Richard himself, he wasn't attached to Atlantic City or any other place. He saw it very much in the same terms that he viewed people: nothing had a connection with anything else. Even if Jimmy was proving him wrong there, but even so, those connections were ones that people had to forge themselves, they weren't something inherent in the world.
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It's not an out and out protest. The idea appeals to him. He wonders what Angela would think. Shaking his head again, he sprawls out even more, sighing. "I don't think it's that easy to start over. I think shit would just follow me around, y'know?"
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He knows deep down that Jimmy isn't going to seriously consider moving away. He'll finish what he's started, and Richard respects that. It's what he'd do himself in that position, finish the battle that they'd marched into. But the offer is genuine, and will remain open.
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Leaving Richard to deal with the messes Jimmy had made himself would be cowardly and wrong. He may not have been thinking very clearly lately, but he was clear enough to know that much.
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He's not even sure what he means by that. It's a big statement. Maybe he's just referencing their problems at the moment, maybe he means life in general. He doesn't seem inclined to elaborate.
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It was a pretty bleak picture as far as Richard was concerned. If he thought about it too much, it made him tempted to take his shotgun back out to those woods.
"I take things one day at a time."
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Speaking of bleak pictures, Jimmy certainly appeared to be viewing things negatively now.
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"Maybe I'll just sit right here forever. Tell all those other guys to go fuck themselves, 'n just sit on the beach. Sounds pretty good to me right now."
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A little bit, maybe. But sitting on the beach in a torrential downpour didn't sound ideal, either, and he sighed with frustration. "Nothin's ever just easy, is it?"
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"Maybe one day things will be easier."
He doesn't sound too convinced of that, though.
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It's not that he wants to be dead. Sometimes he just thinks it should have worked out that way. It would have simplified a lot of things, that was for sure.